I believe our health is about much more than just exercise and nutrition. Hopefully, I’m making that clear in my writing! Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. Actually, I believe it’s more important. If our mental health isn’t good, then achieving physical health is nearly impossible.
An important part of good mental health is spending time with family to renew those relationships. And “family” doesn’t just mean biological, because not everyone has that kind. Of those that do, not everyone has the kind that is loving and supportive. So your “family” might be your group of chosen friends.
Either way, our relationships need to be nurtured to grow and give us a sense of community. That community, or belonging, is part of what gives us purpose and fulfillment in life. This is why it’s so important to make time for those relationships.
We all know that life tends to just happen. It keeps us so busy we put off reaching outside of our immediate social or geographical circles. But when we ignore our extended families we start to lose touch and care a little less. Then later in life, we wonder why we’re no longer close.
We have the choice to not let that happen to us. But it takes both effort and planning.
My family and hometown
My two sisters and I are from Dubuque, Iowa but I’m the only one still living in Iowa. So we don’t see each other that often anymore.
Plus, our parents are both gone now so we don’t have the usual reasons to go “home” anymore. So making the time to get together every now and then is important in keeping us connected.
Recently, we all spent a weekend in our hometown, along with two of our spouses, for a family reunion. We were going back for a “celebration of life” for a cousin of ours that died suddenly last year. So we decided to make it a celebration of life for those of us still here.
We could’ve just gone back for the day, chatted for a couple of hours, then went our separate ways. But instead, we made a long weekend of it and spent some quality time with each other and with our extended family. It was a rare reunion, and mini-vacation, for all of us. And it was so much fun!
By sharing this story with you I hope to inspire you to make spending time with your family a priority. Getting together as grown adults has a way of reconnecting us to our pasts and reminding us where we came from. But it doesn’t happen without planning, or at least it’s not likely. Someone needs to take the lead and get the ball rolling.
Don’t you ever get tired of hearing people say “we should get together sometime”, but it never happens? I think it doesn’t happen because we’re all just a little lazy about doing the work to plan it. So I’m giving you some of my tips to help plan your next reunion.
Planning the accommodations
Since five of us were all going back for this one occasion we decided to rent a condo in downtown Dubuque that could fit all of us. This way we each had our own bedrooms, but plenty of shared living space to hang out in. And I have to say, it was very cool staying in our own little place!
It’s always been hard when we’ve gone back home to stay in the same house. Our childhood home was so small we didn’t all fit once we had spouses and families. Now that our parents are gone, we have to invade someone else’s house if we all want to stay together! And that’s a lot to ask.
So normally when we go back we all stay with different people on different sides of town and spend a lot of time driving back and forth. So renting a space gave us extra time together that wasn’t wasted with driving. It worked out well and was much more relaxing.
If you’re planning a group gathering, accommodations are obviously the most important factor. So finding the right place is key. Spending time with family is great, but no one wants to be right on top of each other the entire time.
Usually, accommodations need to be booked months in advance so planning ahead is a good idea. You can check out vrbo.com or airbnb.com for great places to rent in Dubuque or anywhere else.
Planning the food
Besides accommodations, food is the next most important factor in spending time with family. Going out to dinner is fun when you have a small group of adults who want to relax together.
The first night we were in town we ate at a nice restaurant that most of us had never been to. We had all just driven in that day and didn’t want to bother preparing food. This way we could just relax and get caught up. With our small group, dinner in a restaurant was perfect.
I admit that I am NOT a fan of dining out when the group is large. For me, “large” means over 6 people. It just doesn’t make for good conversation, even if they’re all adults. So if that’s the case or if there are kids involved, then I think ordering in or having a potluck is much smarter. And it’s also a great option for saving a little money.
My husband and I have taken many trips with other people where each couple brought a prepared meal to share. Usually, by the last couple of days, there are so many leftovers you just finish those up.
A condo with a full kitchen may seem more expensive initially but it saves money in the long run. Plus everyone can be as loud as they want!
Planning activities
Planning activities should be the fun part of the trip and it’s a good idea to plan some activities together. But it’s also important for everyone to have time to do their own thing if they choose. Too much time together isn’t always a good thing! Everyone should be happy, not be forced to comply with an activity list.
Bike riding was one activity that we all agreed would be fun since we all have bikes and the ability to haul them. Our hometown has a beautiful trail that used to be an old railroad bed called Heritage Trail. The weather was perfect and the trail is wide enough to ride side-by-side and talk while biking.
Since we were in our hometown and have family in the area we invited our cousins one night. We usually get together with most of them once a year, but since Covid it’s been over 2 years. It was great to get caught up with everyone in a relaxed environment.
On our last day, the guys played golf with some cousins while my sisters and I visited the beautiful Dubuque Arboretum! Then we did a little shopping and eating, of course! But it was nice for the guys to have some time alone together while we got to do our thing.
Related article: How to enjoy exercise!
Inspiration to plan more
It was so much fun spending time together for the weekend that we talked about renting the same place next year! Our cousins were all for it too! We spent so much time with them growing up it seems like a shame not to see more of each other as adults. So planning one weekend inspired us to do more.
My husband and I have always prioritized taking trips to keep life interesting. For most of our trips it’s just the two of us, but many times we’ve been able to go with family or friends. And it doesn’t really take much extra planning. We love our time alone but spending time with others gives us a sense of belonging that we wouldn’t otherwise have.
With the busyness of life, it’s easy to become convinced that no one really cares. I know I’ve felt this way many times because the phone doesn’t ring and very few people ever check in. To me, this means we all need to try a little harder at spending time with family to renew those relationships.
Related article: You need a mental health day!
My final thoughts
People say all the time how important spending time with family is. But in reality, we spend most of our time only with our immediate family and friends nearby. Then when someone in our extended family dies we always say “we should’ve spent more time with him/her”.
Since I’ve already lost both parents, I know I don’t want to regret lost time if one of my sisters dies. I don’t live in the same city or state as most of my family or friends and time can pass pretty quickly between visits. It’s easy to forget how much fun it can be.
Studies have shown that people who have good social ties tend to live longer. They also tend to be happier, healthier, and deal with stress better. In other words, a better quality of life comes from spending quality time with loved ones. But to do that you need to work on those relationships.
So don’t wait around for someone else to do it. Be that person to plan the next gathering. It doesn’t matter if they’re your biological or chosen family. Make some memories and build better relationships for your mental and physical health.